Soul Sister.

Siblings, are the best part of our lives. And, am glad that I have one. An elder sister. Well, it will be unfair to call her just an elder sister for she is sometimes as sweet as a best friend, sometimes as insane as a little kid, as protective as a boyfriend or husband, as helpful as a mother and the list can go endless.

I've always heard stories of her feeding me or caring for me when I was little. And now, when I come to think of it, I feel very contented to have a sis like her. She has always stood by my side, helped me, she has a solution to almost every problem of mine. Be it academics, spat with a friend, heartbreaks or any hell thing. And, I find her the perfect being to discuss my problems with and I will admit that am very much dependent on her. She, on the other hand, has never really discussed much of her problems with me, maybe I wasn't the right person. She says I was too young to understand. But, I desperately wanted to know about her life, her dilemmas. I had also scrutinized all her diaries and her phone and what not, but I was unsuccessful. She is very secretive about her problems. She never really lets anyone see the agony or even a frown behind that angelic smile of hers.

Without her, I wouldn't have been able to pass 11th and 12th standard. Phew! She is the best teacher. I could never really digest the countless reactions in chemistry and the numerous theorems in physics and anything in maths. I still remember those all-night-long studying sessions, the last minute touch up and what not! I also remember that night when she had made me dance a day before my chemistry exam at 2:00 a.m because I was horribly nervous. Yes! She is that insane.

I hold her responsible for cultivating a taste in me for music and movies. She recommends the best. Also, I've always wanted to be like her when I was little. I did! She's just so good at almost everything. She has done well academically, she looks pretty, she has got so many friends, she drives (driving a car has been really tough for me. Hmph! Hopefully, I'll be good at it someday.), she's independent, she dances, she sings, she has also written poetry though it always remained beneath the sheets of paper. She is truly the best when it comes to shopping and I suck at shopping. I, generally, send her to shop for me because I detest shopping and find it boring and the clothes, shoes, accessories, bags or anything that she buys for me turns out to be the most fashionable and gets compliments.

It is close to impossible to cheer her up if you have, by any chance, offended her. Also, she doesn't apologize that easy. That one thing really bugs. Sisterhood is no fun without few fights and arguments. So, we do argue a lot! We have endless conversations. We have talked so many nights away whenever she was home for few days during her holidays.

It is her birthday on the 18th. And, this piece is dedicated to her. She's one of my favorite persons on earth. Happy silver Birthday! <3

Here's a surprise for you, sis! :P

Peace.

Things that I miss...

I've lived for some 18 years now. Well, quite a long time I must say! Life has made me experience diverse emotions. I cherish all of them. I felt like penning down the things I truly miss. Lets see how long the list will be....:)

• My colony and the beautiful two dwellings that I've lived in for quite a long time. The cheerful evenings in the colony. I used to play gallery and hide n seek and football and badminton and stapoo and pitthoo and what not!
• SDIPA dance sessions.
• The friends I made in colony. This circle of friends included people from all the age groups, from a kid of first standard to a college student. We had an amazing time each day.
• Volley : A puppy that I had found on the streets and had kept it home for more than a week. I was totally in love with it.
• The festivals celebrated in the colony. We just needed a reason to get together. Be it Christmas, Durga Puja, Ganesh Chaturthi, rakshabandhan, Dushehra, Diwali, Holi or any hell thing. It had to be celebrated in the colony.
• Dance rehearsals before Durga Puja. Preparing a dance performance in just 48 hours. Phew! Some hard work! Singing with the orchestra a day before the performance.
• The birthday parties with over 50 people invited. And, dancing in the over-crowded, noisy room.
• Spending hours sitting idly in my beautiful little garden watching the colorful flowers and the mesmerizing peacocks.
• Exceedingly long walks in the huge ground with my girlfriends and watching the people play football or cricket.
• Walking down the perplexing lanes of Subroto Park.
• Watching the aeroplanes from the roof and basking in the sun.
• Radio jockeying online and the friends I made there.
• The crazy dancing for hours at a marriage party with friends and not having dinner but continuing to dance like crazy.
• The congested Mahipalpur roads and cursing the traffic there being one of the major reasons of me getting late for my tuitions.
• Gorging on momos in between the tuitions at C-10 market. Eating at KFC often, after tuitions.
• Interminable tuitions for learning physics, chemistry and maths though I couldn't really learn anything. It all just passed above my head.
• Travelling in the EATS bus early in the morning and in the afternoon. It was helluva fun with the other friends. This bus picked up students from some 5 schools.
• Getting up early in the morning in the chilling weather. That was such a torture. And then dozing off in the bus a million times.
• The very famous Supreme bakery nearby my school.
• Reaching school way too early and switching on the numerous lights in the corridor.
• Spending time in the school washroom during some class.
• The labs!
• My classroom, just beside the Principal's office. :D
• Carrying cellphones in school
• Watching my brilliant friends imitating every single teacher.
• Dozing off in almost all the classes because of lack of sleep the previous night.
• Vice-principal's horrible shrill voice. The morning prayer. The P.T and yoga in the scorching heat. Bunking the assemblies when we finally were the prefects and driving out the other children out of the classrooms to attend the assembly.
• The time when my swimming skills were put to test by my lovely coach, pushing me into 15ft deep water, all of a sudden, just to see if I can cross the 50 meters length, swimming.
• The never-ending conversations.
• The annual picnics.
• My school uniform.
• Him.

Peace.

Epitome of Composure.

There she is,
lying with her grey round eyes closed,
drowned in the bottomless ocean
of thoughts and dreams,
lost in a world of her own.
Her face is wrinkled and ashen
but, it has a gentle glow.
She looks out,
compelled by the immense blue sky.
Unable to express what she feels.
Her mind is unreadable.
I wish I could just sit by her side
all day long
perceiving what she feels, what she thinks.
But alas!
All I know is that
She is a lady, an alluring lady.
One of a kind!
Her appearance is serene.
She imparts peace.
She is an Epitome of Composure.

Peace.

That feeling of Guilt....

It killed me from inside when

I got to know the sins I have done

Though unknowingly, but must have hurt everyone.

Love is a gesture and is not verbal.

These were the few words

that brought about the guilt in me....

Every blunt refusal to a small request

now turns out to be a sharp blade of pain

Every reply now turns out to be a verbal hit back

These were a few things that

brought about the guilt in me....

I, now, can at least imagine how much stress does it require

to give me an absolute comfort

How much love does it require to encourage almost everything I do!

These were the thoughts

that brought about the guilt in me....

And now I hope this feeling of guilt inscribes into my mind

Like the letters etched on a stone

This feeling of guilt traps me in sorrow

yet makes me feel happy

These are the emotions that will never escape the Guilt.

Peace.